There are many reasons that a child may seem reluctant to engage with you. Some children may bristle at your perceived authority. They may view the justice system negatively, either because of their own experience or that of a caregiver or loved one. Trauma, grief or developmental delays may interfere with a child’s ability to communicate and develop a relationship with you. Overcoming this resistance will take time and skill.

Motivational interviewing as outlined by Miller and Rollnick (2002) is an approach for resolving ambivalence toward change. It emphasizes collaborative, non-confrontational relationships, promoting autonomy and active participation to cultivate a person’s intrinsic desire to change. Using motivational interviewing techniques may help you build a positive relationship with a child who demonstrates reluctance to engage.

The fundamental elements of Motivational Interviewing are collaboration, evocation and autonomy.

Collaboration involves creating a strong partnership, fostering trust and rapport through dialogue. Although there is a power difference between adults and children, you can encourage collaboration by emphasizing your shared interest in the child’s well-being.

To initiate collaboration, you could tell the child, “We’re a team,” or suggest, "Let's brainstorm ideas together.”

Evocation involves learning about the child’s thoughts rather than imposing your own. Active listening plays an important role.

As examples, you might ask a child, "What do you want to talk about today?” or reflect their words to them, saying, “Let’s see if I understand ....”

Autonomy means encouraging a child to determine their own path and take responsibility for their actions. You can offer the child choices, help them evaluate pros and cons, respect their opinions and make sure their wishes are heard. This helps the child build confidence and hope.

To build autonomy, you might ask the child, “What do you think about ...?” or “What would happen if you ...?”

Keep Learning

To learn more about the application of motivational interviewing when counseling clients, read the following short article by Payal Dalal, Rick Barinbaum, and Carolyn Walther.

ABA_Motivational Interviewing.pdf